Here I sit a mere five hours before my first open mic spot in a too long time and I’m nervous.
Genuinely, bed wettingly nervous, and its not a feeling I enjoy.
I’ve ran through my material, several times getting my delivery pretty damn good (well I think it is), without referring to a script or my notes whether a room full of hardened drinker’s will share my opinion is a different matter.
I’ll be stuffed at the first heckler who opens their mouth, hopefully by then adrenaline should have kicked in and inspiration will make its appearance.
I’ve used all the tools of my trade and taken my self in to a state of deep self hypnosis, gone through the upcoming performance.
All the way from walking confidently up to the mic, and reeling off a flawless performance.
To the raucous applause of a room full of happy drunks who appreciate my sense of humour as they give me a rousing chorus of applause.
And then I walk of stage like the conquering hero of comedy that I am.
The hypnotic state and your imagination is a wonderful thing I can see myself confidently slaying my audience with my razor sharp wit, and then about six minutes in to my performance, it happens my first heckler, now what do I do ignore him and hope he drowns in his pint or pin him to his chair with a withering put down. Hmm, decision’s, decision’s but I decide on a one liner that leaves my critic looking like the whipped dog, that he is and the crowd loving it baying for more.
Who’s next, oh, no takers shame.
I flawlessly go through the rest of my performance, the audience eating out of the palm of my hand, loving the golden seed’s of humour I’m throwing them any heckler’s now I put down with a withering glare and the threat of hypnosis…
They just love my act I’m killing the punter’s they’re with me all the way and finish in a huge round of applause that raises the roof, destroying the venue, the place erupting in to not one but two standing ovations.
Then just as I’m basking in the golden glow of rapturous appreciation for my comedy talent, the small back room of the pub seemingly the size of the 02 arena and standing room only. My mobile starts ringing bringing me out of my deep, state of hypnotic reverie.
Still it was nice while it lasted, and between you and me, I know tonight will go just as well.
I can see it in my mind as we speak…
Love & light